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R.E.A.L.* Moment Monday

12/1/2014

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Reaping Relationships

"As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest..." 
~Genesis 8:22 (NLT)
I have had several discussions over the years with friends and acquaintances about how to know when and whether some relationships are sent from God; and, whether certain relationships are meant for us. Relationships are always a balancing act in terms of deciding where they stand. We all want greater"meaning" to the connections we make. But what we sometimes fail to realize is that what God sends, is not always what we are asking for or expecting. What we want is His good and gracious Hand, and approval on our relationships. What He sends is the harvest of what we have planted. And what we have planted is how we identify with what relationships are a result of our harvest. That harvest is what we should be seeking.

I once wrote an article about the difference between giving and investing in relationships. I wrote extensively on the risks and benefits, and return on investing in relationships. This is somewhat the same, but from a different angle. How do you know a relationship is from God? How do you know someone is meant to be connected to you or your life/ministry/business? Ask yourself two questions: 1. Is what this person brings to my life/ministry/business a reflection of what I myself have planted in other's lives/businesses/ministries? 2. Is this person a reflection of myself when someone else planted into my life/business/ministry?

These may sound like two simple questions, but if we are truthful with ourselves, they really speak volumes. They speak volumes about how we have actually served and received from others in our motives and actions/behaviors. Anything we plant in the natural can yield a harvest up to seven times. There is no scriptural evidence that the same is true for the spiritual, but the Bible does promise that whatever we sow (plant) will come back to us. And if we are using the farming analogy as the Bible so often does, we can expect to receive a harvest greater than what we have planted. 

So what does this mean? We often want our "God connections" to be trusting, faithful, profitable, encouraging, deep, meaningful, fulfilling. But have we planted any or all of these things in any of our connections? We are slow to admit that we have been often been faithless, unfaithful, draining, critical, shallow, callous, apathetic, and self-serving in most or all of our relationship choices. Yet we reject those who come in the same manner. We seek out and pursue those who can benefit us, and reject the harvest we have actually planted for ourselves. 

On the other hand, some of us attract the unfaithful for this same reason the unfaithful pursue those who can benefit them. These fruitful and faithful individuals are those who are in a constant fight to create boundaries, just like farm plantings are in a constant fight to avoid being overtaken by weeds. Knowing the seeds you have planted, and clearly recognizing the fruit of that harvest is paramount to keeping effective boundaries; and, pruning the weeds for increased relationship harvest. The question is not, "What have you done for me lately?" The questions are, "What have I done for others lately, so that I can reap great relationships in my life/business/ministry?" And, "Am I ignoring my harvest to: 1. covet another's, or 2. allow weeds to take over?" 

Invest/plant/sow well in your relationships, so that you don't have to be afraid to choose the fruit you have planted, and prune the weeds. You will know the relationships that are heaven sent by honestly auditing what you have planted in the lives of others.

Reap Well My Friends!

Dawn~
~Pouring my life out in worship, like Costly Oil~
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R.E.A.L.* Moment Monday

9/1/2014

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Happy Labor Day!

Have you labored in LOVE this year??
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"For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do." ~Hebrews 6:10 (NKJV)
Today is Labor Day. It is our national day to set aside from all of our hard work at earning a living, and relax, reflect, and renew. And hopefully to give thanks.

But this Labor Day, I found myself thinking about the above Bible verse, and I started wondering about Relationships Ever Abiding in Love. 

The word Labor means: "work, especially hard physical work."

I often hear people say that the word LOVE is over used. I agree, but I tend to be one of the ones who use the word often. I use it often because I am a word person, a verbal communicator. I always need to say what needs to be said. But do I back it up with action? In the focus verse above, Love is not just action, but is referred to as work, especially hard...work.

So my question to each of us on this Labor Day 2014 is this: Have you labored in Love this year? Think about how hard you may have worked in your yard this past Spring and Summer. What about remodeling projects around the house? Vehicle repairs or upgrades anyone? My job is very physical, and I feel the effects daily. I work very hard, and in a variety of ways, to keep my family fed, housed, and comfortable. This is truly a labor of love; but, can I think back to any relationships or service efforts that I have labored in equally as hard...or greater?

How about you? Which relationships would be infinitely fully, richer, purer if hard work were to be added? Where do you think God would be pleased and reward you for your work of service to His people, the poor, the lost?

The next time You feel God leading you to "work" at a relationship, or to serve others, why not avoid taking the easy route? Why not instead purpose to work hard at it...let them see you sweat!


Happy Labor Day,
Dawn~
~Pouring my life out in worship, like Costly Oil~
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R.E.A.L.* Moment Monday

6/2/2014

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"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion." ~Ecclesiastes  4:9, 10(a) (NKJV)
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Hello my friends! As I type this piece I am so in awe of how quickly this year is passing by. It seems like it was just January and we were creating resolutions, setting goals and getting our vision boards ready. We were preparing to make 2014 our most awesome year yet. Now we are 2 months into 2nd quarter...absolutely amazing!

If you are like me you probably have been looking at your list of goals for the year and seeing how much progress you've made. If not then let's talk because it's time, as I say to "check-in and check-up." Have you lost the weight you've wanted to lose, have you saved the amount of money you wanted to save, are you close to getting that new job, car or house you wanted? Even more important have you improved your relationship with your significant other, mending that broken relationship with your friend, increased the time you spend with God to strengthen your relationship with him?

These relationships are key and vital to accomplishing many of the other goals we have set for ourselves this year. I've talked before about operating in order. We cannot expect success and greatness when our priorities are jacked up. 

Often times the thing that holds us back from really reaching our goals is FEAR. Fear of change, fear of failing, fear of the unknown and sometimes fear of succeeding. On this day imagine yourself FREE! Free from the worries and stagnation that comes from FEAR. Make the choice today to "check-in and check-up" on the status of your relationship goals. Commit to doing the uncomfortable thing and make the necessary changes to make the things that are really important in your life matter!

Until Next Time,

Nikhol B. Jackson
"Assisting Others on Their Journey Towards Peace, Healing & Recovery!"

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R.E.A.L.* Moment Monday

5/6/2014

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A Mother's Thoughts

 "When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren
As we quickly approach Mothers Day, I would like to wish all of my friends and family members who are mothers a Happy Mothers Day! Below I share a note from when my children were much younger, about some of the things I wanted them to embrace about life. Would you share your motherly thoughts inspired by your children? Bless us with your passion, inspiration, and diversity!

Blessings,

Dawn~
~Pouring my life out in worship, like Costly Oil~
Children, learn this: 

Life is much too short, and filled with an abundance of great, awesome, rewarding, wonderful, colorful, and temporary things.

Great because God has given us each a passion. When you find and engulf yourself in the passion God gave you, greatness emerges -- no matter how insignificant the endeavor. Helping an injured chick becomes greatness.

Awesome because there are things on earth created by God that will take your breath away --- focus on finding some of that awesomeness. 

Rewarding because after you do the right thing, even when it hurts, God never forgets. Remember you always reap what you sow. DO GOOD.

Wonderful because you will find that there are people in this life who love and live life fully and sincerely, asking for nothing in return. They inspire us to be like them.

Colorful because of life's diversity. We all add something different to the world. And when you put it all together life becomes a festival of emotions, sounds, talents, sights, perspectives, culture, values, sorrows, struggles, and experiences. Herein lies acceptance.

And temporary because life is a cycle of change. 

Live life embracing the great, awesome, rewarding, wonderful, and colorful things in life, while realizing that at any moment they could change. 


Quickly overlook the petty faults and mistakes of others, realizing how truly short life is.

A Note to My Children dated Tuesday, March 11, 2003, by Dawn L. Bedingfield
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R.E.A.L.* Moment Monday

4/14/2014

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Giving and Investing...in RELATIONSHIPS!

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."                 
~John 15:13 (NIV)

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Giving is a positive and generous factor in any relationship, no matter how undeveloped. It can signify affection, appreciation, care, concern, and admiration, among many other things. It can add excitement and spontaneity to a long term relationship and can move new ones to the next level. 

Giving is a necessity in all relationships. But, as by its definition, giving requires no real commitment or connection to the receiver. Giving need not be an investment in the recipient. If the giver receives anything from the receiver of one's gift, it should be personal gratification, nothing more. The expectation of more is directed at GOD, not the receiver! And that is a different discussion, for a different time...

Expectation is where the defining line in relationships manifest between significant and insignificant; intimate and casual; lasting and short term; committed and convenient. There are two sides to the defining line between giving and something else...that something else is investing. 

At its best, giving is charity; investment indicates value. The biggest difference between the two being: with giving, one does not have to value the relationship with the receiver of one's gift, they only have to have an expectation that GOD will reward their giving. Investing in someone sometimes involves giving until it hurts. Investment involves consistency and patience to see through to the end result. Investment involves placing faith, hope, value and trust in whatever or whoever is on the receiving end of the offering. And although giving should certainly be a part of all relationships, people will rarely make an investment into those relationships which they place little or no value upon; or in which they have little to no expectation. 

Investment involves risk, plain and simple. And the motive behind investment is purely to receive a return on what is given. We invest much more than we would give when we expect something in return from the person or relationship. But with investment, there is never a guarantee of a return, which is why investment, more than anything else, indicates value. If we expect something great, or we value what we have enough, then we take the risk. The concept may seem manipulative and selfish, but let's think about it for a moment: If you want a happy, content and fulfilled spouse, friend, child, business partner, etc., you have to make an investment in the relationship and sometimes that person. Yes giving is required, but sometimes giving is not enough. Often it is easy to give one part of one's self to a relationship but very hard to give what is needed to make the relationship successful. If you want a specific result bad enough, then an investment might need to be made. As the saying goes that you only get out of something what you put into it. 

Giving must be done with a clear mind and free of struggle; but many things that are required to develop a fulfilling and happy relationship are not always so. Sometimes forgiving is done after a struggle. That's an investment meant to net a return of peace. Sometimes overlooking a fault is a struggle, even painful. That is an investment meant to net a return of acceptance and harmony in the relationship. Sometimes expanding one's comfort zone is scary. That is an investment meant to net a return of unity and understanding. Sometimes simply making time to cultivate a relationship is inconvenient. That is an investment meant to net a return of quality in the relationship.

Just as we invest in our relationships, so does God invest in us. The Bible says, "So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." Isaiah 61:3 (NSV) We are His handiwork, His workmanship. And His harvest will not fail because He mercifully, lovingly, and devotedly tends to us with care and anticipation of our manifold fruit. And yet He gave Jesus Christ, His Son, who in turn gave His life; both so generously, so selflessly out of our need and out of no thought for Himself. 

How wonderful a relationship balanced in giving and investing, such can not fail! Try it, and expect nothing less than "relationships EVER abiding in LOVE!" 


Share with us some of the ways YOU make positive investments in your relationships, and let's keep the LOVE flowing!

Blessings,

Dawn~
~Pouring my life out in Worship, like Costly Oil~

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R.E.A.L. Moment Monday

10/28/2013

2 Comments

 
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"R.E.A.L. (Relationships Ever Abiding in Love*) Moment Monday" is a new monthly column designed to encourage Believers to enjoy healthy personal, professional, and spiritual relationships. Join us each month on R.E.A.L. Moment Mondays, as we explore the spiritual and practical aspects of creating and understanding the relationships that God intends to add joy to our lives.
And so we start with the greatest topic of all...LOVE.
“Love is patient, love is kind. 
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 
     it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects, always trusts, 
     always hopes, always perseveres.”  

~1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
I believe in unconditional love.  And I don't mean only in a spiritual, intangible way.  I mean the unconditional love that is described in the Bible.  The love that displays forgiveness and character time and time again, regardless of a multitude of disappointments.  Why? Because R.E.A.L. Love is nothing less than God's unconditional Love in Action!

The focus verse for today says that Love "believes, hopes and endures all things." (New King James) These are three of the four elements of which Faith are comprised (the fourth element being ACTION). Therefore true Love greatly involves an almost unshakable degree of Faith in the object to which it is directed. But this Faith is not blind, nor does it require or expect proof. This Love has Faith in its object based solely on what GOD has said about His creation, and how He sees them. This is what is called True Love.

The reason true Love can Believe through all things is because God can not lie; if He said that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, I (LOVE) believe that you are, even if you leave this world broke, broken and belittled. The reason true Love can Hope through all things is because God can not make mistakes; if He said he knew you before you were conceived, and had a plan for you even then, I (LOVE) will encourage, pray for and challenge you in expectation of that plan until it is manifest! The reason true Love can Endure through all things is because God can not fail! If he said that you are His creation, He has a purpose for your life, and He will cause all things to work out in good pursuit of that purpose, then I (LOVE) will wait with you, cry with you, forgive you, bless you, rejoice and celebrate with you, fight with you and for you, suffer loss and victory with you, and soon see the Light of God unfolding upon you like The Son with you. This is what true Love looks and acts like. 

God has great Faith in His creation -- He demonstrated it with an unmatched act of of unconditional Love. But His creation has lost faith in itself more and more with each passing generation, which is evident by the near non-existent display (note the strategic use of the word 'display,' not 'feelings' or 'thoughts' or 'wishes') of unconditional Love. You see...without Love I would be hopeless and without a destiny, unable to counter the effects of disappointment. Without Love I would be angry and bitter, unable to counter the effects of injustice. Without Love I would have poor health and appearance, unable to counter the effects of childhood negligence. Without Love I would have low self-esteem, unable to counter the effects of abuse, abandonment and indifference. Without love I would do nothing, being impotent to challenge my past and present reality. In short, I would be a "mad black woman," too hurt to hope, too afraid to aspire, always dreaming and never doing, and resentful or suspicious of anyone who does not see the world through the eyes of a broken and well guarded heart. (To read the entire Note entitled, "About True/REAL Love," go to: Dawn Bedingfield's Note)

Love like this is always a risk, even with the most casual acquaintance.  And therefore it is absolutely vital to make excellent choices in relationships. And always remember, R.E.A.L. Love is not a weakness, it is the cure all!  Let's start having Faith in God and His creation (one another and ourselves), and let Love reign once again!

My R.E.A.L. Moment Monday advice for today: Choose wisely and love unconditionally. The rewards are priceless!

Love Well Friends,
Dawn~



*R.E.A.L., Relationships Ever Abiding in Love, and R.E.A.L. Moment Mondays are the intellectual property of Costly Oil LP and Dawn L. Bedingfield, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Loving Relationships

9/9/2012

1 Comment

 
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I will worship toward your holy temple and praise your name 
for your loving-kindness and for your truth
for you have magnified your word above all your name. 


In relationships I don't think the phrase, "actions speak louder than words" always applies. I completely understand what people are trying to say when they say this, because hey, God demonstrated His love by His actions. But only a percentage of Love is demonstrated by actions, because not all of the "Love Languages" are action based (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Giving/Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Providing, Opportunity Enthusiasts). Likewise, God demonstrated, but He also, more frequently...often with no evidence attached...speaks of His Love for us, and expects...no...COMMANDS us to believe and trust His WORD that He does in fact Love us. Each person's "Love Language" reflects the expressions and behaviors that we place the most value on personally. What we value most is what will be reflected in pure and authentic Love. As the scripture says, God has magnified His WORD above all of His Name (i.e. His character traits). Here we see that God clearly places more value on His WORD than anything else we know about Him. It pleases Him more to know that we trust what He says without expecting evidence or support. And so it is with some expressions of human Love. No matter what Cher will tell you, the way you know whether someone truly loves you is not "in their kiss," but is founded in their values. If you don't know what a person values most, it will be impossible to know whether their expression of Love is cheap and fabricated, or pure and authentic. So in order to find out whether the love is real, spend more time uncovering a person's values and whats in their HEART, than examining their external accomplishments or, as my pastor calls it, their "press clippings" about themselves!


Love Purely and Authentically Friends! ~dlb


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    Make Mondays Matter

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    believe. for. it.


    ~dlb~
    dawnlbedingfield

    "You don't know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box..."

    Picture
    *The phrase, Relationships Ever Abiding in Love, and the title, R.E.A.L. Moment Monday are the intellectual property of Costly Oil LP and Dawn L. Bedingfield, Inc. All Rights Reserved. R.E.A.L. Moment Monday blog posts are the express and sole property of the writer, no copyright infringement is intended. 
    Alabaster II Original Artwork painted by Jun Jamosmos, www.jamosmos.com
    Artwork and Design, Copyright 2014 Costly Oil LP. 
    All Rights Reserved.

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