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Pain With a Purpose

1/28/2013

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"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.  We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." ~2Corinthians 4:7-10
Too often we as women, especially, are ashamed of our pain, although we intellectually know that everyone experiences pain in their lives.  Some experience pain to a greater degree than others; some just in a different way.  But I was reminded, in a surprising way, this weekend that pain paves two paths for those who travel its course (i.e. all of us).  We can wear our pain as:
  1.  a sweet aroma like crushed fruit or flowers, and a glowing brilliance like refined gold or cut jewels, or
  2.  the stench of death and decay

The Christ-Walk is not all roses and mountaintops, but the fruit of pain can be the Glory that tells the world, and new Believers, "There is Treasure in this earthen vessel, and the LIFE of Christ-in-me, is greater than the effects of pain-to-me."

We are not what was done to us, but what was done for us and in us!
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Submission As  A Beautiful Dance

1/21/2013

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"And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
    For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord." 
~Ephesians 5:21-22 (NLT)


Our Bible Study Class at church dealt with this subject a couple of weeks ago, and I will be having a dialogue on the radio with my co-hosts tomorrow night on the subject. I loved the research so much that I decided to develop it into a full blown article. Please feel free to post comments or tune in tomorrow night at 9pm EST on www.blogtalkradio.com/wxrpradio2.

Besides studying the Bible on the topic of submission, one great way to understand and practice submission is learning a variety of ballroom, or “Partner” dances as they are often called. 

I’ve heard marriage referred to many things other than a dance…especially a business. Although I understand the underlying intent of referring marriage to a business, think about business today, even very successful ones and consider if you want a marriage like that? Think about the turnover and unemployment and one person doing multiple jobs out of balance. Those items alone turn me off from the idea!!

But a beautiful dance involving skilled partners is something that will take a person’s breath away when watched! It can never be compared to anything less than grace and skill!

Some such dances include: Waltz, Salsa, Tango, Swing, Latin. These dances not only allow women to act out the duty of submission (to “Follow”), but help her learn to trust her partner’s leading, leadership style, body language, and non-verbal cues…all while moving gracefully backward and in heels.

MarisaWright says on her hubpage, marisawright.hubpages.com, “"Lead and follow" is the secret to getting two partners dancing smoothly together. It's simply impossible for two people, dancing in close contact, to move as one if they're making their own decisions, choosing their own timing and doing their steps independently. They must coordinate their moves perfectly - and for that to happen, one person must be in charge. Politically incorrect it may be, but the convention is for the male to be in charge (the Lead) and the woman to follow.”

Partner dances also help men:

1.       Understand and act out confident and strong leadership
2.       CLEARLY understand the intricacies, nuances, and non-verbal cues of leading in an intimate and graceful situation, as opposed to a “business” situation.
3.       Begin to grasp the concept of a woman’s need to be able to trust his leadership

BallroomJoe.com says to men, “But there’s one thing that all partner dances have in common. In any dance you are learning, one of the best things to focus on is how to be a good leader.”

The Waltz: there is a basic step/dance pattern in which both partners must know and understand, but the biggest catch is that the couple does not stay in the same spot while following the basic, or even more complicated patterns. The step patterns are performed and turned into a beautiful dance by the man leading the woman in a cycle of dance steps while flowing all over and around the dance floor, and oftentimes weaving and blending in with a host of other dancers.

MarisaWright also has this to say to women about how to follow:
1.       Wait for your partner to tell you when to do each step and follow it instantly
2.       If he doesn't give the signal, you do nothing
3.       If he gives the wrong signal, you forget what you were expecting to do, and follow the new signal instead

Areas and Reasons for shared submission:

1.       Danger avoidance
2.       Increased communication/connection/creativity in the relationship

Danger Avoidance: Woman watches Man’s back and gives almost invisible cues about danger. Lead submits and changes direction.

Increased communication/connection/creativity in the relationship: Man allows for added input and creativity by woman in order to bring out and encourage more of her voice, style, and creativity, thus adding to the diversity and originality of the dance.

Wikipedia says, “A general rule is that both lead and follow watch each other's back in a dance hall situation. Collision avoidance is one of the cases when the follow is required to "backlead" or at least to communicate about the danger to the lead. In travelling dances, such as Waltz, common Follow signals of danger are an unusual resistance to the Lead, or a slight tap by the shoulder. In open-position dances, such as Swing or Latin dances, maintaining eye contact with the partner is an important safety communication link.”

And

 “For many individual dancers, exploring the limits of the Leader-Follower relationship adds to the dance, where this relationship might better be understood as a conversation between partners, with each contributing to the style and mood of the dance through their connection. For other partners, the lead's complete control of the follower, and the follower's relinquishing a greater degree of creative or expressive autonomy is more personally comfortable or satisfying.”


There are an infinite number of other relationship and marriage communication lessons to be gleaned from partner dance, that can only be fully examined and digested within the context of formal ballroom dance lessons…so run out and invest in a class!

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GRACE.......Everything We Need

1/7/2013

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The following is the synopsis for Max Lucado's book, "Grace."  When I read it I was breathless and in awe!  Have you ever been like me and felt like Grace was overrated?  Like, "What's the big deal???  Ok so Jesus provided a way for me to receive Grace.  I received it!  I said the prayer.  And....?"  And........HERE'S the big deal!  What the below is saying, in summary, is that Grace is everything we need if we truly want to live a life of victory in Christ!

"Grace. We talk as though we understand the term. The bank gives us a grace period. The seedy politician falls from grace. Musicians speak of a grace note. We describe an actress as gracious, a dancer as graceful. We use the word for hospitals, baby girls, kings, and premeal prayers. We talk as though we know what grace means. But do we really understand it? Have we settled for wimpy grace? It politely occupies a phrase in a hymn, fits nicely on a church sign. Never causes trouble or demands a response. When asked, "Do you believe in grace?" who could say no? Max Lucado asks a deeper question: Have you been changed by grace? Shaped by grace? Strengthened by grace? Emboldened by grace? Softened by grace? Snatched by the nape of your neck and shaken to your senses by grace? God's grace has a drenching about it. A wildness about it. A white-water, riptide, turn-you-upside-downness about it. Grace comes after you. It rewires you. From insecure to God secure. From regret riddled to better-because-of-it. From afraid to die to ready to fly. Grace is the voice that calls us to change and then gives us the power to pull it off. Let's make certain grace gets you." ~Grace, by Max Lucado 

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    Make Mondays Matter

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    dawnlbedingfield

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    *The phrase, Relationships Ever Abiding in Love, and the title, R.E.A.L. Moment Monday are the intellectual property of Costly Oil LP and Dawn L. Bedingfield, Inc. All Rights Reserved. R.E.A.L. Moment Monday blog posts are the express and sole property of the writer, no copyright infringement is intended. 
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