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April's Girl On Fire

4/28/2014

"...a woman who fears The Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she
has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise."
~Proverbs 31:30b-31

I was so very inspired by our R.E.A.L.* March Madness Moments series during the National Women's Month of March, that I decided to dedicate one Monday a month to celebrating "Girls On Fire." Join in reading about and celebrating these wonderful and inspiring women! And let's set the whole world on fire with inspirational stories of everyday women like you and me, who do their best to make a difference.

You can also help us keep the celebration going all year long by nominating women YOU know who are on fire in their families, homes, workplaces, and communities. Use the "Contact Us" page, or email us directly at makemondaysmatter@costlyoillp.org.

Let's get this party started.....AGAIN!

D~
~Pouring my life out in worship, like Costly Oil~

Meet Karen Boyd-Williams...

What Karen has to say about herself...

I am a church girl, born and bred. I am a pastor’s kid (PK), raised on the south side of Chicago, who grew up knowing nothing but church. That had its benefits and its drawbacks, all of which I continue to learn as I grow older. But one important thing you should know about me is that I decided to have a relationship with God for myself. My parents could not and did not force that piece. God pricked my heart, letting me know that I could never be “perfect” or “ready” enough for Him without Him, that I was not “missing out” on anything by refusing to accept Him, that I could not continue to take advantage of His grace by assuming that I had more time to “sin” before I made that commitment, and a whole wealth of other things which I used as cheap excuses.

I am sold out to God. I believe His Word. I believe there is nothing impossible for Him, nothing impossible with Him, and nothing impossible through Him. Call me a Bible thumper, a fanatic, or ridiculous–I’ve heard it all before–and it still won’t change how I feel about my Father.

I personally love testimonies: they give me hope, inspiration, and new joy. So if I can help “just one somebody” (lol! Those are words to an old gospel song, for those of you who don’t know. Oh, and by the way, I think I’m funny too, lol!) by sharing my journey, including its bumps, bruises, and hiccups, then it is worth the transparency, and I believe that I am also helping to fulfill God’s purpose for my life.

"Now thanks be unto God Who always causes us to triumph." ~II Corinthians 2:14

You can follow Karen and her writing at www.godspurposed.wordpress.com

Please join us as we sing for our Sister friend...

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Gossip: The Subtle Sin

4/21/2014

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"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much."
~Proverbs 20:19 (NIV)

Did you know that you carry a lethal weapon with you wherever you go and it would be impossible for you to check it at the door, because it is attached to your body? The Spirit of God led Solomon to write, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). That is an amazing statement! James said the tongue is full of deadly poison (James 3:8). Wow! A frightening thought!

Let me ask, as a Christian do you occasionally slip up and commit a murder or theft here or there? Do you occasionally burglarize a home or steal things from the store? You may think this is silly to ask. I know you are thinking a Christian lifestyle doesn’t behave that way. How about gossip or slander? Do you ever engage in idle talk or rumors about others? Do you participate in bad-mouthing or spreading rumors about others? According to the Bible, which sin is less severe murder or gossip? I’m sure you get the message. Paul said BOTH are sins equally worthy of death.

The Apostle Peter also used murder as a comparison with another, sometimes under-rated sin. “But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters” (1 Peter 4:15). Notice that a “busybody” is placed in the same company as “murderers, thieves, and evildoers.” The dictionary defines a busybody as “a meddler; a person who seeks confidential information about others; a snoop; a nosy person.” A busybody is another close relative to gossip -- a person who meddles in the affairs of others. They are like a peeping-tom who snoops and spies. A busybody is the investigator for the gossip seeking to uncover sensational details and to whisper the latest news. Sometimes busybodies are persons who have too much time on their hands, with nothing better to do. “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to” (1 Tim. 5:13).

The book of Proverbs mentions several damaging effects of gossip. The first is that it separates friends. “A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends” (Proverbs 16:28). “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends” (Proverbs 17:9). Sometimes gossip is done purposely and maliciously by a jealous person who resents the friends someone else has. If he can dig up any trace of disreputable information, he will use it to drive a wedge between friends so he can try to move into the gap. He finds that to be easier than winning friends by showing genuine, unselfish kindness to others. “I don’t mean to be talking about her, but …” “I don’t want you to think I’m gossiping, but …” And in goes the knife!

On the other hand, there may be no malicious intent. It is just idle talk, or an effort to appear on the “inside.” But the result is just the same. You may have heard about the conversation where Mary says, “Suzie told me you told her the secret that I told you not to tell her.” Jane answers, “Why that blabber mouth! I told her not to tell you I told her.” So Ellen replies, “Well, I told her I wouldn’t tell you she told me, so don’t tell her I did.” That friendship is doomed. Friends have to be able to trust each other. “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter” (Proverbs 11:13).

We can also alienate our own closest friends by gossip. They begin to suspect that if we talk about others to them, we will also talk about them to others, so they hesitate to share their personal things with us. I experienced this with someone I was once very close to. I confided in this person with a lot of my personal business and discovered this person told everyone else’s personal business so I am sure they told mine too.

Another consequence of gossip is that it wounds people. “The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body” (Proverbs 18:8). How do you feel when you find out that people have been talking about you unfavorably? They may have enjoyed it as one would enjoy a dainty morsel, but it hurts you, doesn’t it? And the hurt reaches down to your innermost being. While we know the Lord wants us to forgive them, we usually stew on it, worry over it, fret about it, and even get angry with them. I have seen it takes years for some to heal from subtle sin of gossip. Think about that the next time you are tempted to share some information about someone. Would you want that told about you, even if it were true? Probably not!

Gossip also instigates anger. “The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, an angry countenance” (Proverbs 25:23). Some of the angriest people I have ever talked to have been the victims of vicious gossip. They were furious. The resentment they have built up as a result of the anger is sin, and they need to resolve it. But the person with the runaway tongue will still answer for his disobedience to God’s Word.

Did you ever turn a garden hose on with the nozzle partially open? It flops around, bangs into things and soaks everyone nearby. Those people are not very happy with you, are they? A flopping tongue, spraying poison of gossip, has even worse consequences. Husbands and wives have made their family and friends furious with their spouses by talking about faults. Some who have heard the dirt have never been able to forget it and accept the one about whom the gossip has been told. The anger lives on.

That leads to the final consequence of gossip we want to mention. It causes contention and strife. “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down” (Proverbs 26:20). We all have known of churches which were wracked with strife. But there never has been one where the strife would not disappear if people would stop gossiping. “Do you know what he said? Do you know what she did? I’ll tell you what I think he’s after. If he would just do his job, everything would be all right. Do you know what that board is up to now?” Blah, blah, blah! But it is like wood on the fire. It gets other people stirred up, and they get other people stirred up, and what started out as a spark turns into a raging fire.

James tells us where the original spark comes from. He said it “is set on fire by hell” (James 3:6). And Satan must be laughing himself silly over it. Gossip is his game. The name devil means “slanderer.” And he is called “the accuser of our brethren” (Revelation 12:10). But God hates it. He says the person who spreads strife among brothers is an abomination to Him (Proverbs 6:16-19). Gossip can be so subtle I too have gotten caught in this subtle sin and then the Lord began to convict me for it. If you have fallen into this subtle sin I encourage you to repent and put yourself in the shoes of the person you are gossiping about.

~Toca

Toca Montgomery is a contributing writer to Make Mondays Matter Weekly Blog. She is currently working in the banking industry, in addition to being a business owner and full time student pursuing her degree in Finance.

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R.E.A.L.* Moment Monday

4/14/2014

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Giving and Investing...in RELATIONSHIPS!

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."
~John 15:13 (NIV)

Giving is a positive and generous factor in any relationship, no matter how undeveloped. It can signify affection, appreciation, care, concern, and admiration, among many other things. It can add excitement and spontaneity to a long term relationship and can move new ones to the next level.

Giving is a necessity in all relationships. But, as by its definition, giving requires no real commitment or connection to the receiver. Giving need not be an investment in the recipient. If the giver receives anything from the receiver of one's gift, it should be personal gratification, nothing more. The expectation of more is directed at GOD, not the receiver! And that is a different discussion, for a different time...

Expectation is where the defining line in relationships manifest between significant and insignificant; intimate and casual; lasting and short term; committed and convenient. There are two sides to the defining line between giving and something else...that something else is investing.

At its best, giving is charity; investment indicates value. The biggest difference between the two being: with giving, one does not have to value the relationship with the receiver of one's gift, they only have to have an expectation that GOD will reward their giving. Investing in someone sometimes involves giving until it hurts. Investment involves consistency and patience to see through to the end result. Investment involves placing faith, hope, value and trust in whatever or whoever is on the receiving end of the offering. And although giving should certainly be a part of all relationships, people will rarely make an investment into those relationships which they place little or no value upon; or in which they have little to no expectation.

Investment involves risk, plain and simple. And the motive behind investment is purely to receive a return on what is given. We invest much more than we would give when we expect something in return from the person or relationship. But with investment, there is never a guarantee of a return, which is why investment, more than anything else, indicates value. If we expect something great, or we value what we have enough, then we take the risk. The concept may seem manipulative and selfish, but let's think about it for a moment: If you want a happy, content and fulfilled spouse, friend, child, business partner, etc., you have to make an investment in the relationship and sometimes that person. Yes giving is required, but sometimes giving is not enough. Often it is easy to give one part of one's self to a relationship but very hard to give what is needed to make the relationship successful. If you want a specific result bad enough, then an investment might need to be made. As the saying goes that you only get out of something what you put into it.

Giving must be done with a clear mind and free of struggle; but many things that are required to develop a fulfilling and happy relationship are not always so. Sometimes forgiving is done after a struggle. That's an investment meant to net a return of peace. Sometimes overlooking a fault is a struggle, even painful. That is an investment meant to net a return of acceptance and harmony in the relationship. Sometimes expanding one's comfort zone is scary. That is an investment meant to net a return of unity and understanding. Sometimes simply making time to cultivate a relationship is inconvenient. That is an investment meant to net a return of quality in the relationship.

Just as we invest in our relationships, so does God invest in us. The Bible says, "So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." Isaiah 61:3 (NSV) We are His handiwork, His workmanship. And His harvest will not fail because He mercifully, lovingly, and devotedly tends to us with care and anticipation of our manifold fruit. And yet He gave Jesus Christ, His Son, who in turn gave His life; both so generously, so selflessly out of our need and out of no thought for Himself.

How wonderful a relationship balanced in giving and investing, such can not fail! Try it, and expect nothing less than "relationships EVER abiding in LOVE!"

Share with us some of the ways YOU make positive investments in your relationships, and let's keep the LOVE flowing!

Blessings,
Dawn~
~Pouring my life out in Worship, like Costly Oil~

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April's Girl On Fire

Meet Karen Boyd-Williams...

Gossip: The Subtle Sin

R.E.A.L.* Moment Monday

Giving and Investing...in RELATIONSHIPS!

Make Mondays Matter

~dlb~
dawnlbedingfield

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April's Girl On Fire

﻿﻿Meet Karen Boyd-Williams...﻿﻿

Gossip: The Subtle Sin

R.E.A.L.* Moment Monday

﻿Giving and Investing...in RELATIONSHIPS!﻿

Make Mondays Matter

~dlb~dawnlbedingfield

Archives

Categories

Meet Karen Boyd-Williams...

Giving and Investing...in RELATIONSHIPS!

~dlb~
dawnlbedingfield